How To Give (A Little Less) Of A F&%$

One of the biggest struggles women aged 30-ish to 40+ have is learning how to care less. I know that sounds harsh, or does it only because (like you), I’ve been brainwashed to think that worrying and caring to the fault of our own well being is how to show love.

As I’ve officially entered my 40th year around the sun, I can confidently call bullsh$t on that entire notion.

Learning how to be selective on where/when/what/who I care in abundance about is definitely a process that I’m working on, but I am always surprised and bothered by the number of women who share with me that they struggle with this as well.

In a recent family group text chat, the women in my family shared about their struggles with this same thing. And to make things worse, the guilt that comes along with the decision to (gasp) PUT THEMSELVES FIRST.

WHYYYYY??

There’s so many reasons why. More than I have time to go into at this moment. But, I’m sure you can personally articulate some reasons in your own life.

The more important question is, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

Through observation, I’ve come to the conclusion that giving too much of a f*** about everything is actually a sign that you’re a freaking great person.

You care. A LOT! About everything and even more about those you care about. And that’s what the world needs. Imagine how beautiful the world would be if more folks cared about 20% of the things you care about.

There’s so many people that do not care about as many things we do as a default.

So, deciding to care less about everything is not selfish or guilt worthy. This is something that I had to accept.

In fact, it’s a survival tactic so we are able to care about the things that are truly worth our worry.

Think of it this way, not everything is worth the amazing f***s we give out. And by not giving them away as freely as we might’ve been in the past, we are able to give more and in higher concentrations to the people/things that are truly deserving.

I hate the rep that “not giving a f*** about every little thing that happens” has got over the years. Acceptance of that notion in any degree as a lifestyle has been weirdly portrayed through media to drug use, being a bad parent, being immature, or simply not being “a good girl”.

It’s time to reframe this narrative so we can be better. Not only for ourselves, but for those around us, right?!

This internal work of giving less f***s is not easy, and is certainly a process.

I wanted to share a couple of questions I’ve asked myself when starting to change my thinking: